I cleaned my car
I don't know how to start this one. Remember in the Rules of Engagement when I said I can envision the middle and end, but struggle with the start? Yeah man, sucks to be stuck here again.
I think as a reader you'll just have to accept that sometimes I need time to get the car warmed up enough to clear the windshield so we can go for a drive. Meanwhile you're sitting in the passenger seat freezing, watching your breath float through the air.
That car metaphor just happened, swear to god. Just a happy little accident it coincided with this posts content. Alright I think I can see enough to drive, let's get a move on.
My car
I have a 2022 Subaru Outback Limited XT. I know what you're thinking, I should have gotten the Wilderness. To that I'd say -- yeah thanks for reminding me asshole. I don't regret the trim package I took because she still has the turbo boxer engine, tows 3500 lbs, and is a luxury ride on the inside. My only other regret is that it's black. It was the only color they had at the time without a 4 month wait. I wanted forest green real bad.
So I clearly love my car. Despite my obvious passion I had not cleaned the interior of the car in * checks watch * THREE YEARS. I think it's been at least one year since I washed the exterior. I have not shown my car the attention it deserves like I actually love it.
But why have you neglected this car?
Listen you impatient little shit, we're getting there. The process of cleaning this car has spanned literal days. I pulled my car in the garage on a Saturday. If I had to answer the neglect question then, I would have said something like "I don't know, been busy" or some shit. You and I both know that's a nonsense answer, I haven't been busy for the past three years.
Saturday
So on Saturday I opened all the doors and turned off the automatic interior lights so the battery wouldn't die. I'm glad I had enough foresight to do that. I didn't expect cleaning this car would take any more than afternoon, but here we are on a Monday evening and I still haven't cleaned the trunk yet.
I enlisted my daughter's help on Saturday. We cleaned all the trash, clothes, coins, and knick knacks out of the front and back seats. I found travel mugs I haven't seen in at least a year. A cup of sand and shale rocks from the coast of Washington my daughter collected during a road trip with her mother (two and a half years ago btw). At least five dollars in change, some in the door handles, some on the floor.
After that we started vacuuming, a shop vac on one side and the house sweeper on the other. Sand, dust, dirt, and dog hair. So much dog hair man. The worst possible situation even: white dog hair on black interior. It's still not 100%, I don't know that it will ever be again. It's sitting around a cool 92%, which is just enough to qualify for an A-.
I took the rubber floor mats outside and hosed them off. Let me tell you something -- rubber floor mats are a godsend. Absolutely brilliant. So much easier to scrub clean than carpet mats. We got started on cleaning the windows and polishing the interior, but were interrupted for some family stuff.
Monday
Wait, why didn't you work on it Sunday? Listen you heathen, Sunday is the day of rest. I was also busy with errands, I'm pretty lazy, and really bad about finishing things I start. Hell, I came in here to write this post instead of cleaning the trunk and finishing the dang thing.
So anyways, I went to the garage this evening after work to continue. I picked up where my daughter and I left off: cleaning the windows and interior.
The back windows were covered in wet dog nose smears. A true wolf pack of window-lickers. Dude, how come I can't crack the code on streak-free windows? No matter what combination of cleaner and cloth I use I always end up with annoyingly just-visible streaks.
After finally finishing up with the front and back seats of the car, I put the floor mats and cup holder inserts back inside. I stepped back and admired how sharp my car looked when it was clean. I forgot how nice this car actually is. For the past few years I've accepted it covered in dust, dirt, grime, and other filth.
It's not that I never had the thought or urge to clean the car. I've known it's been in a state of disarray pretty much the entire time. It's lived in the back of my head as a nagging reminder every time I opened the door to jump inside. I always told myself variations of "It's fine, it's an adventure wagon. It takes us where we need to go".
Epiphany
I'm not going to sugar coat it. In this moment I realized that the state of that car the past few years is a direct reflection of the state of my life. I've been out in these streets totally okay riding around in a filthy car with my family, friends, and pets. I haven't had the motivation to take care of it. I'm not currently depressed, and haven't been for about 3.5 years. I guess I've just been existing.
To be clear, 2026 has been a barn burner. I went through some serious trials and tribulations early this year by purchasing a home. That was something my wife and I have discussed for years, but I never had the gumption to even get started. Common theme in this blog, starting something is hard man.
We bought a beautiful lake house and are extremely grateful to have this amazing home now. We were unhappy with our prior home for at least four to five years. Stuck in a rut I'd say. It felt like a situationship. It was never meant to be a long-term move but due to * the chaos magic of life * we were there much longer than either of us hoped to be. It was definitely weighing on both of our mental states.
We moved in our new home in June. Ever since we've been busy with unpacking, renovations, re-establishing, visitors, holidays, and other shenanigans. We've also had a few more random chaos happenings. I don't think we've actually had a week go by without some fresh new hell to deal with.
Takeaways
Listen, the core message of this post is meant to be revitalizing. Let's wrap this thing up in that fashion.
I've been asleep at the wheel for at least three years, and my car showed it. The fact that I finally got around to buying a different home and cleaning my car means the tides are turning. My shit has been a mess, but I'm awake now. It's time to clean up.
One of my dear friends describes the balancing act in your life as managing different gardens. With neglect, some gardens will wilt and wither. When it happens it's time to cultivate. Wash away the past, prepare the soil for new growth. Try not to let this garden fall by the wayside again in the future, figure out how to divide your attention more equally.
“The problems we face today eventually turn into blessings in the rearview mirror of life. In time, yesterday’s red light leads us to a greenlight. All destruction eventually leads to construction, all death eventually leads to birth, all pain eventually leads to pleasure. In this life or the next, what goes down will come up. It’s a matter of how we see the challenge in front of us and how we engage with it. Persist, pivot, or concede. It’s up to us, our choice every time.” — Greenlights, Matthew McConaughey
Oh yeah -- I'm finally finishing this post on the following Saturday, which is 5 days after I started writing. I still haven't cleaned out the trunk of that car. Fingers crossed this wasn't a false start.